Fighting My Feelings

My life is so confusing.

Just when I think I have one problem solved, another rushes in to take its place.

At the moment, I’m battling feelings.

Feelings of love. Feelings of resentment. Feelings of loneliness.

It’s wearing me down. I just handle things SO badly, and I don’t know where to go from here. When someone says something to rock your entire world, it’s hard to make things go back to the way they were before—and it’s next to impossible to just shove your feelings into a tiny little box of nonexistence.

I wish I were more reserved with my feelings. Instead, when I feel awkward or upset, I turn into a loud, giggly, immature goofball. And then I get mad at myself and run home to my blog, my chocolate bar, and my comfy, merciful pillows, and I think about all the things that I cannot change, or that I wish I could go back and do differently.

I can’t, though. Things have just automatically shifted now.

Now that I know the emotion is there, I can’t keep it down.

And I can’t describe to certain people how I feel. I just can’t. I tell them everything except the truth.

No matter what I say, I always feel differently on the inside. And I’m tired of trying to figure out why.

emotion

 

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