they surprise me, the yellow flowers, when i see them in the shop window. i stop to admire them, and they remind me of us, last valentine’s day– you, eighteen and hopeful, as you showed up with a bouquet and me, sixteen and laughing, running into your arms. so i buy them, take them home, … More Roses


how sad when you sense so well the way something will end yet can’t help wanting it anyway– which leads to trying for it, feeling it,  breaking it, losing it, and finally, missing it, till you are left wondering why you ever desired a taste of something you were not allowed to keep.


“this doesn’t have to be goodbye,” she says. “we can just go back to the way we were– the way it was before.” yet he only smiles sadly, shakes his head, and breaks her heart with a quiet, “oh, but darling, we were never just friends.”  


nightly screams silent, yet so raw and real an outcry of the regret in her soul and the shame of her careless, broken spirit   but darkness will fade into the pale pink of a new morning even after every bloody collision of her mind as hope intertwines with the glow of daylight.


misled misstepped misguided misspoke always almost just barely  never quite still desperately searching reaching grasping empty air straining for something that simply isn’t there missing slipping flailing, and finally, falling.


i spent far too much time being contemplative yet not enough actually thinking endless hours wasted simply wandering through my mind lost, directionless, without intention and that, i suppose, is how i ended up here broken ignorant reflecting on the spiral of who I have become downward for so long because I didn’t think never … More Contemplation